


A Mournful Moon and Summer Stars

by BowtiesonBakerStreet



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Marauders Friendship, Past Relationship(s), Post-Marauders' Era, slight AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-06 09:27:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14638959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BowtiesonBakerStreet/pseuds/BowtiesonBakerStreet
Summary: Leona Lochlin is wholly committed to her job as a Professor of Ancient Studies at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and will be the first to admit she's good at what she does. But when the new Professor for Defense against the Dark Arts turns out to be Remus Lupin, someone from her past she'd much rather never see again, she finds it difficult to keep her job at Hogwarts her main priority, while also upholding the grudge against him she's had for so long. As their relationship blossoms, Leona finds herself feeling things for the kindly Professor that she has long thought dormant.





	A Mournful Moon and Summer Stars

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I've written in a long time and I am very happy with it so far! Comments would be appreciated, enjoy!

“She’s going to stare a hole into the back of his head I swear. How has he not noticed?”

“He’s been hanging around James, Sirius, and Peter too much is what, his senses are dulled.”

“If we don’t snap her out of it soon Professor McGonagall is going to turn her into something with way more than two eyes”

“All the better to stare at _him_ with”

Leona Lochrin was never one to distract herself with silly crushes. Her mother always stressed the importance of schoolwork and it was a lesson the young girl took to heart. When she was young, this wasn’t a very difficult task. Most boys were boring and not very clever, so she focused on learning her spells and forming friendships with her house mates in Hufflepuff. When she entered her fourth year at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry, however, things began to change. She still focused on her school work of course, but she started really noticing some of the boys around her. She began dabbling in after school affairs with a few of them, as many had gone from being clumsy and annoying to suddenly charming and quite cute. She never went all the way, just harmless snogging in abandoned corridors and broom closets, but her eyes had been opened on how fun sneaking around with boys could be. She’ll never forget the first day she _really_ saw Remus Lupin.

She recalls the fourth year charms class. The professor was having students practice posture and proper hand movements for the body freezing spell, Petrificus Totalus. They had learned it in theory the previous year, but hadn’t actually cast the spell yet. Leona was having particular trouble with it for some reason, the wand movement not coming naturally to her as so many others did. Professor Flitwick seemed to notice her struggling.

“Having a little trouble with this one are we, Miss Lochlin?” He’d said with a smile. “Let’s see-ah, Mr. Lupin, you seem to having success. Would you be so kind as to assist Miss Lochlin?”

Leona’s face flushed red with embarrassment at the suggestion. She had never struggled with a spell like this before, but she reluctantly accepted the help.

Remus didn’t seem bothered at the suggestion at all, he seemed happy to help, if anything.

Leona sighed heavily and raised her wand at the target once again. “Petrificus Totalus!” Her shoulders sagged as nothing happened.

“Here” Lupin offered. He stepped beside her, his body nearly pressed against her, and raised her wand-arm with his own. He guided her hand in the shape of the appropriate movement of the wand. Leona felt all the blood in her body rush to her face.

“All right, try it again.” He said kindly, letting go of her. She shook off the unsteadiness his touch has caused her and pointed her wand at the target once more.

“Petrificus Totalus!” she said with a little more confidence, moving her hand the way Remus had guided it. To her surprise, a white light erupted from the end and engulfed the target in front of her, freezing it in place.

“Excellent, Miss Lochrin! Excellent!” Flitwick had proclaimed. “Five points to Hufflpuff and five to Gryffindor for the help.”

Remus then smiled at her and nodded before walking back to his seat. She’d been completely smitten ever since then.

Leona barely registers her friends giggling beside her in Transfiguration, her mind lost in the memory. A part of her knows she should probably be paying attention, but she can’t help herself. Remus has only become more handsome since that day in Charms. Today, his chestnut brown, unkempt hair falls around his head, a patch in the back sticking up slightly, and she watches as he brushes a few stray strands from his face and runs his fingers through it. A sigh escapes her lips before she can stop it.

“Leona!” Mafalda whispers and bumps Leona with her elbow, snapping her from her trance. Professor McGonagall pauses for a moment and gives both girls a stern look before continuing back to the lesson. Leona forces herself to stop staring at Remus and focus on the lesson in front of her.

The head of Gryffindor house ends class soon after, handing out an incredibly large amount of homework as has been the custom since last year. The change from fifth year to sixth in terms of homework was probably the most difficult transition Leona, and from what she’d observed, most of her peers as well, had to adjust to. The professors at Hogwarts were very serious about preparing the sixth and seventh years for their NEWTs. Now that they were in their seventh year, the workload had become a tad more bearable at least knowing what they were in for.

The students begin to gather their wands and books and head towards the exit of the classroom as class is dismissed.

“I swear I’m not going to even think about another transfiguration spell for at least a year when we finally graduate” Olive mutters and closes her book with a thud.

“Transfiguration isn’t so bad; it’s Potions that’s killing me. I mean, really, when are we ever going to need to hand brew polyjuice potion?” Malfalda complains. “I am absolutely dreading that theoretical NEWT.”

Mafalda looks over at Leona expecting a long, drawn out answer to every useful, and some non-useful, instances polyjuice potion would need to be brewed. But her friend is silent, lost in thought and shooting glances to the group of boys a few tables away from them.

“Anything you’re worried about Leona?” Olive asks, more than anything to see if her friend is actually listening to the conversation. Her lack of a reply is an answer in itself and Olive gives Mafalda an exasperated look.

Leona stands up slowly and takes her time closing her books as the boy she had been dreamily staring at is about to walk past her.

With every ounce of courage she has inside of her she looks up and says “Hey Remus!” with a brilliant smile.

Olive and Mafalda look at each other, mouths agape.

Remus is trailing behind James and Sirius, as usual, but he pauses at the girl’s table when he hears the greeting from Leona. His mouth opens, closes, and then opens again.

 “Oh, um…hi.” His response comes out kindly, as if he’s been caught off guard.

They look at each other for what seems like an eternity, awkward smiles between them, until Sirius Black calls to Lupin from the doorway.

 “You comin’ Moony? You know Slughorn will give us detention for a week if we’re late to class again.”

Remus looks to his friends waiting for him by the exit and then looks back to Leona, eyes slightly wider than normal.

“I have to…um…sorry.” He gives another awkward smile then walks quickly towards James and Sirius.

As soon as his back is to her, Leona’s smile falls and she releases a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding. She looks to Olive and Mafalda , who are looking at her like she has 3 heads.

“What?” She asks incredulously.

The two friends’ expressions turn from shock to amusement and Mafalda nudges her with her elbow once again.

“Leona, this is the first time you’ve actually spoken to Remus Lupin despite pining after him for _years_ and all you have to say for yourself is ‘what’”?

“It’s about time” Olive says laughing hard.

Leona can feel her face turning bright red. “I just…I don’t know. We’re going to be graduating soon and I feel like I don’t have much time left and…did you _see_ his hair today? It’s so perfectly untidy and…I’m rambling aren’t I?”

Olive and Mafalda nod simultaneously. Leona covers her face with her hands.

“I’m hopeless” she says in a defeated tone.

“Not completely” Olive reassures her, patting her friend’s arm gently.

“Close, but yes, not completely.” Mafalda agrees. “If it was anyone besides Gryffindor’s do-good prefect, then maybe.” The Slytherin smirks at her two friends.

Leona sighs heavily as she packs her books up to head to the library to study for her free period, Olive and Mafalda walking in step next to her.

“You should just ask him out already. The worst he could say is no.” Mafalda says coolly. She was never one to struggle with boy issues. The extent of her troubles was deciding on which boy she wanted to snog next.

“Exactly! If I never ask then I’ll never be rejected. This plan is fool-proof.”

“Have you ever seen him on a date before? With anyone?” Olive ponders her own question for a moment with a frown, then continues. “C’mon Leona, what are the chances he’d say no to the clever, dashing Hufflepuff star seeker? You should ask him to come to the game tonight. I’m sure he wouldn’t have a problem rooting for you against Slytherin. No offense, M”

“Don’t worry; I won’t rub it in when Slytherin wins” Mafalda replies with a playful grin.

With a cheerful goodbye, the three friends split up to head to their own classes. Leona is quiet until she reaches the library, mulling over what Mafalda and Olive said. She knows they’re right, that the worst thing he could say is no, but even the very idea of his rejection is enough to make her heart sink to the very bottom of her chest. But the end of the year is drawing near and if she doesn’t make a move now, who’s to say she will ever see him again outside of school? The thought gives her heart another lurch.

Rather than studying for her NEWTS as she knows she should, Leona spends the entire free period rehearsing what she would say to Remus.

 _Just keep it simple_ she thinks.

She finds herself daydreaming about a successful date with Remus Lupin and all that would entail and before she knows it, the period has ended and she finds her feet carrying her on auto-pilot to the entrance of Professor Slughorn’s Potions classroom. Her palms are sweaty as they clutch her books and she has to remind herself of how to breathe as the flood of students begins exiting the room. She scans the crowd and finally sees James, Sirius, and Remus approaching.

“Okay, you can do this, Leona. He’s just a boy. It’s just a question.” She mutters to herself.

Finally, she catches Remus as the Marauders walk toward her and she gives a shy wave and smile, which he returns, but out of politeness or friendliness, Leona can’t tell.

“Remus! Hey”. She walks up to the tightknit group, attempting to single out Remus but having no luck. She tries her best to pretend James and Sirius don’t exist. “I was just wondering” her heart is beating so loud she’s sure all three of them can hear it. “Would you come to the quidditch match tonight?  Cheer me on against Slytherin?”

James and Sirius’ eyebrows both rise as high as they can seemingly go on their foreheads. Sirius looks almost impressed.

Remus clears his throat, looking nervous as ever. Leona tries her best to prepare herself for the rejection she so feared. He almost seems frozen in place, then finally brushes his hair back out of his face with his fingers. He opens his mouth to say something with an apologetic look on his face, but before he can say anything James interrupts.

“You should go, Moony, we don’t have any mischief planned for tonight anyway.” He says with a wink.

“Yeah, a good quidditch match could do you some good” Sirius adds wiggling his eyebrows at Remus.

Remus looks back at Leona, his expression now softer.

“All right” he finally agrees “I suppose it couldn’t hurt”. He follows this up with a small grin.

Leona has to will herself to breathe again and refrain from making a strange squeaking noise she can feel rising in her throat out of pure joy.

“Great! Good. And maybe afterwards we could hang out. I heard you’re great at Defense against the Dark Arts and I could really use a hand studying for the NEWTs.”

Leona hadn’t rehearsed this part during her free period, but she tries to sound as confident as possible. Her heart is beating so fast it’s surely going to fly out of her chest at any moment.

Remus looks to his friends again who seem to nod in encouragement. “Yeah that…that sounds good” he replies with a breathy laugh, his hand rubbing the back of his neck.

“Good! Great, that’s, um, yes. I’ll meet you by the training grounds after the game?”

He nods wordlessly and smiles again. Leona gives a brilliant smile back, feeling her cheeks flush red. She turns away and begins walking towards the dungeons to the Hufflepuff common room, nearly hyperventilating the whole journey there.

When she reaches the barrels stacked up in the same corridor as the kitchens, she nearly forgets which lid she was supposed to tap on, only forcing herself to remember so she doesn’t smell like vinegar for the next month. Her chances with Lupin would surely be utterly decimated after that.

Once inside the common room, she finds Olive immediately sitting on one of the yellow couches, her nose in a book. Leona walks over and plops down next to her on the comfortable couch, her face now paling realizing what she’s just done.

“Olive” she squeaks out.

Olive notices her tone and looks up, immediately alarmed by her friends deathly pale face.

“Leona?” she says in a concerned tone, setting her book face down on the arm of the couch. “What’s happened? Are you all right?”

“I…I did it” Leona barely manages to say.

“You did wha-?” Understanding crosses her face. “Leona, are you telling me you _asked out Remus Lupin?”_

At this, a few other Hufflepuff girls who were scattered throughout the common room look over at the conversation now taking place. One of the fifth years Leona has talked to from time to time, Jennifer, begins laughing. Anyone who spent even a small amount of time with Leona knew of her enormous crush on the Marauder.

“It’s about bloody time, Leona!” Jennifer says, laughing. “I thought you’d never make a move.”

“Well?” Olive exclaims, grabbing both of Leona’s arms. “What did he say?”

The common room falls deathly silent as they wait for her answer.

Leona looks at her friend, her jet black hair tied back into a smooth ponytail and the flames from the fireplace casting dancing shadows over her caramel colored skin. She slowly lets a smile spread across her face until it feels like it’s going to light up the room.

“He said yes” she answers breathlessly.

All the girls seem to let out laugh and look to each other, giggling furiously.

“He’s coming to the game tonight and we’re meeting afterwards to study together” she adds, still feeling like she’s dreaming.

All the girls let out a scandalous gasp. Everyone knows asking a boy to study never actually means studying. It’s an excuse for a good snog, or whatever can be gotten away with. This thought has crossed Leona’s mind a few times already and she fears her daydreams might now affect the match tonight.

Olive pulls her into a hug. “Leona, I am so proud of you! Maybe you should have been sorted into Gryffindor with that kind of courage” she jokes. “I want all the juicy details when you get back. Don’t you dare leave out _anything_.”

Leona is able to push her wildly oscillating feelings to the side during the quidditch match later on that day, at least enough to find the snitch and pull off a victory against Slytherin. She also can’t help herself from being a little showier on her broom than usual. Nothing too serious, just a few dips and dives and rolls more than was necessary. After each one, she tries scanning the crowd to see if she can spot Remus, but the match demands her attention too much to do a proper search.

After the game when the stadium has cleared out, and after a quick shower in the changing room, Leona heads to the training grounds. The sun is barely still up, painting the sky a red and orange hue. Her thoughts flow a mile a minute.

_Will he really be waiting for me? What if things go horribly? What if things go well?_

Leona fights off the urge to run straight to the Hufflepuff common room and forces her feet to take her to the training grounds.

She spots him immediately, leaning up against the wall next to a gate to the inside of the building, his arms crossed across his chest. She can’t read the expression on his face; it almost looks like one of guilt. She waves to him as she makes her way over to him.

“Glad to see you could make it” she says, completely overjoyed and hearing some of it seep into her tone.

Remus smiles at her and brushes his hair back with his hand. She’s noticed he does this a lot, and she now associates this gesture with Remus. His handsome features are much more visible without his hair in his face.

“Yes, well I could use a good brush up in Defense for the NEWTs.” They smile at each other again. “Shall we head to the library?”

“Actually” Leona begins, shocking even herself as she takes Remus’ hand. “I was thinking I could show you something?”

Lupin’s face reddens immediately.

“I, yes, well” He clears his throat. “I suppose so. Lead the way.”

Leona releases his hand and gives him a playful grin as she leads him back towards the quidditch field. Instead of walking into the stands like normal, she leads him through the changing rooms and then out into the field. They look up at the stands as they step foot onto the grass, imagining them packed with people cheering and screaming. She allows silence to fall between them as they walk, listening to the crunching sound their feet make in the grass.

“I don’t know how you do it” Remus says as they reach the middle of the field.

“Do what?”

“Stay calm enough to find the snitch during these games. Seeing things from down here…we seem so…small.”

“It’s not so small when you’re up in the air on a broom.” Leona answers honestly. “Truthfully, I love the feeling more than anything else in the world. There’s a certain freedom you feel up in the air like that. Like you can go anywhere you want.”

Leona sits down in the grass when they reach the far end of the field, motioning for Remus to follow suit. They look to the sky, now covered with stars.

“I always loved watching the stars when I was a little girl. My father had a little telescope in our backyard and everything. I’d beg him to look through it with me nearly every night.” Leona smiles at the memory. “I remember my first year at Hogwarts, seeing the stars for the first time. They felt closer than they’d ever been in London. Brighter, even. I wanted to be an astronomer back then.” She looks over at Remus who has been listening attentively, the corners of his lips turned up slightly.

“What do you want to be now?” he asks with genuine curiosity in his voice.

“Honestly? I have no idea” the Hufflepuff lets out a small laugh. “That should probably scare me more than it does. A part of me wouldn’t mind coming back to be a teacher here. Hogwarts is my home and I can’t imagine never coming back after this year.” Leona swallows hard, the words a reminder of all that will be ending in just a few short weeks. “What about you, Remus?” She asks with a warm smile. “What are your plans after you graduate?”

Remus’ face falls slightly. “I haven’t put too much thought into it. I don’t think I’ll have too many options.”

His answer feels cryptic.

“Remus” she says, concern evident in her tone. “You’re one of the cleverest people I’ve ever known. You’re going to ace your NEWTs and be able to go anywhere you want, I can promise you that. You shouldn’t sell yourself so short.”

Remus blushes a bit at Leona’s honesty. “That’s very kind of you.”

Leona shrugs her shoulders. “It’s the truth”. She leans back against her arms to get a better view of the stars. “There are a lot of boys in our year and I don’t think any of them are half as smart as you.”

 There’s a crescent moon in the sky, casting light down upon them now in the empty field. She looks to Lupin again to find him looking back at her. Something in him seems to be softening, like there’s now a small crack in whatever defenses he has up.

“Tell me” he says quietly. “We’ve been going to school together for seven years now, and it occurs to me I don’t know all that much about you.”

Leona smiles softly. “What do you want to know?”

Remus ponders this for a moment. “What is your family like?”

Leona looks back to the sky and takes in a breath. “Both of my parents are muggles, actually. Receiving my acceptance letter when I was eleven was a bit of a shock to everyone. We had no idea where to even start buying my school supplies, it was mostly kindly strangers who recognized our confused expressions who helped us find Diagon Alley and the Hogwarts Express.” She laughs recalling the memories of her family meandering to all the shops, their wide-eyed expressions as she’d destroyed half of Olivander’s before finding the right wand. “They’ve been so supportive through everything, though. I’m very lucky.” She finishes earnestly.

Remus’ face is unreadable as always, but he says nothing.

“What about your family?”

The Gryffindor remains silent for a while longer and Leona is worried she has overstepped some boundary before finally answers.

“My father is a wizard, but my mother is a muggle.” He pauses and hesitates, like he’s debating to himself how much he should tell the girl beside him. “He used to work for the ministry. His department was chasing down a boggart one day that took refuge in a forest that my mother decided to take a leisurely stroll in that night. My mother’s imagination being what it was, the boggart took the form of a large man and before he could attack, my father decided to intervene and turned the boggart into a small red mushroom.” Leona laughs imagining a muggle witness a feat of magic like this.

“What did your mother do?” She asks still laughing.

“She assumed my father drove off the attacker and saved her. He didn’t have the courage to tell her until much later that she wasn’t actually in any danger that night.”

Leona laughs some more as Remus finishes the story. “That is honestly so sweet. I’m assuming she didn’t leave him after he admitted this, since you’re here.”

“Oh yes, she was too smitten with him by then. It was far too late.”

They laugh together then the conversation naturally lulls until they are left in silence once again. The silence is surprisingly comfortable and Leona finds herself feeling like her and Remus have been friends for a very long time, rather than just having a conversation for the first time. She looks down at their hands, both of them leaning back looking up at the sky, and thinks about how close they are to each other. She moves her hand slightly, working up courage she once again didn’t know she had, until her hand is covering his. He turns sharply to look at the new contact, and then looks up at Leona. She shifts her body to her side, leaning her head in towards his. She’s surprised when he doesn’t move. She hesitates for a moment, their foreheads close enough to touch, to allow him time he might want to move away or run away, or do anything else besides kiss her. There’s no way he could want this too, is there? It seems almost too much to ask to be true.

Finally, she leans in all the way, letting their lips touch tenderly. The kiss is gentle and closed mouthed at first. She wonders if Remus is having second thoughts. Deciding to test the waters, she opens her mouth and sweeps her tongue over his bottom lip. Hesitantly, both their mouths open and their tongues touch, softly at first, but the kiss quickly becomes much hungrier. Leona deepens the kiss, feeling her body become warm all over, a small fire spreading throughout her. She reaches a hand up and runs her fingers through the back of his perfectly unkempt hair. She can’t recall how many times during Transfiguration she’d fantasized about running her hand through his hair exactly like this. It’s surprisingly soft to the touch and she makes a mental note to try and touch his hair as often as possible in the future.

 _This is really happening_ she tells herself.

The kiss is a little sloppy, but much better than the few boys she’s snogged over the years. His tongue doesn’t try and touch her tonsils and he doesn’t try and swallow her entire mouth with his own. It feels natural to be kissing him like this.

She feels his hand touch her face first, cupping her cheek, then moving to her waist. Everywhere he touches her feels like wildfire erupting beneath her skin. She wants him to touch her everywhere it’s possible to be touched.

There’s a part of her that knows they could be discovered at any moment, but neither of them seems to care. If anything it only spurs them on more. Leona internally laughs at the additional fact that she’s snogging a prefect. She’d never been one to break rules, and she feels now is a perfect time to break as many as possible.

 She breaks the kiss abruptly and shifts so she has a leg on either side of Remus, grinning down at him with the most playful smirk she can muster. He smiles back up at her as they kiss again, just as deep and hungry as before. She guides his hands underneath her bra to cup her breasts. Instantly, she feels him harden beneath her and it only adds to the ache she feels in her core.

Breaking the kiss once more, she gently guides him to lay on his back and smiles down at him as her hand finds its way to the belt on his trousers. She makes quick work of it and they both laugh as the zipper gets caught in her rush.

Finally, they manage to push down his trousers and pants enough to expose him. In a surprisingly fluid motion, he hikes up her skirt, pushes aside her underwear, and is slowly pushing inside of her. They both let out breathy moans at the contact. Remus is surprisingly big so Leona takes her time lowering herself onto his full length. By the time he’s all the way inside of her she almost feels ready to come. She pauses for a moment to catch her breath.

“Are you all right?” Remus asks tenderly. Leona feels a rush of affection for him at the question.

“Yes” she says smiling. “I just need to…adjust. You’re quite…large.” She laughs.

He gives her a smirk Leona is sure she’s never seen before. After a few more moments she feels ready, and begins slowly raising herself up and lowering back down on his length. They both bite their lips to stifle their moans as much as possible, not wanting to draw any unwanted attention.

“Leona” Remus breaths. “I’m going to-“But before he can complete his sentence, he’s finishing inside of her.  Leona can feel him spilling inside her and the extra sensation of fullness is almost enough to make her find her own release. Almost.

Remus shudders beneath her as he finishes completely. Both of them breathless and red faced, Leona pushes herself off him and moans slightly at the sensation of him slipping out of her.

“I’m so sorry, Leona” Lupin says, panting. Leona just laughs trying to catch her breath.

“It’s all right” she says breathing heavily. She hadn’t done anything like this before. She had in fact just given Remus Lupin her virginity, but the topic of sex came up quite often between other girls in her year, had come up since fifth year, and all the girls had stories almost exactly like this one. She had learned to not expect much from her first time, but she wasn’t going to tell Remus that.

They lay in the grass for what feels like hours, the moonlight illuminating their bodies as they curl up to each other. They talk for a little while about nothing in particular; their classes, taking the NEWTs soon, their friends. Whatever comes to mind they speak freely.

Leona thinks to herself that she might never be this happy again.

Eventually, they decide it has to be at least 2am and they part ways with a kiss and a promise to see each other the next day, him heading to Gryffindor tower and her towards the dungeons to the Hufflepuff dormitory. She smiles an enormous, sleepy grin the entire walk back.

The next day they have charms together, and any fear about her and Lupin not speaking for some awkward reason vanishes almost instantly. They lock eyes at every opportunity, flashing each other shy little smiles that everyone around them rolls their eyes at. When it comes time to practice their spells they pair up immediately. They flirt unabashedly and Leona does her best to touch some part of him at every opportunity. He walks her to her next class and they discuss their NEWTs beginning soon, both of them realizing they won’t have much time for anything else until all their exams have been complete. The thought affects her far more than she’s willing to admit, but her NEWTs have to come first.

Leona spares no detail on what happened on the quidditch field to Olive and Mafalda, the latter seems almost proud of the excursion. They gather in a prefect bathroom on the third floor and smoke cigarettes Leona had stolen off her muggle parents before leaving for school.

“So are you two, you know, _official_ , then?” Olive asks, blowing smoke out of the side of her mouth.

Leona takes a long drag of her cigarette. “Well, we didn’t really talk about it. But, I mean, we have to be after all this, don’t we? Remus doesn’t seem the type to use someone like that, you know?”

Mafalda and Olive cast worried looks to Leona.

“If you say so” Olive replies, her voice full of doubt.

Leona laughs at how silly she thinks her friends are being. She knows her and Remus won’t be able to speak for about two weeks while they take their NEWTs, them being in different houses will make it impossible to slip away, but after that they’ll be able to see each other as much as they want.

The NEWTs are exactly as difficult as they had been talked up to be, if not worse. At the end of every day, Leona feels an exhaustion she has never felt before in her life, dragging herself to the dungeons and the four-poster in her dormitory. Finally after what feels like an eternity, their NEWTs are complete and on the last day of the school year, she finally finds time to track down Remus. She finds him in the library, presumably returning books he had used to study for the NEWTs.

“Hey” she says in a sweet voice as she approaches him.

He jumps slightly at the noise, then turns to see Leona.

“Hello” he says in a flat tone.

Leona immediately feels her heart sink.

“So, we’ve finally done it; NEWTs over, graduating from Hogwarts, our whole lives ahead of us.” She reaches out to hold his hand.

“Any plans for the summer?” She grins mischievously.

Remus looks at her for a long time, and then slowly pulls his hand away from hers.

“Leona,” he says in an apologetic voice. “I can’t- we can’t” He takes a breath. “This won’t work.” He struggles to keep his tone flat but it’s dripping with guilt.

Leona’s heart sinks to the very bottom of her chest. It feels like someone has tied a brick of concrete to it and it might never feel light and happy again.

“Remus” She says dumbfounded. “But we-“she scoffs “How can you do this?”

“Leona, there are things about me you don’t know, that you can’t know. I’ve thought a lot these past two weeks. Trust me when I say this would not work. You deserve someone much better than me.” His voice sounds cold now and he shoves a book a little too aggressively back into its place on the shelf.

“Who are you to tell me what I do and do not deserve?” she asks, her tone incredulous.

Remus doesn’t answer her. He looks at her with what can only be described as regret in his eyes.

“I’m sorry.” He says.

With this, Remus walks away, leaving Leona alone in the library, her eyes blurring and her heart feeling like it had just been ripped out of its chest.

 She sits through her last feast in the great hall picking at her food with tears in her eyes, trying to put aside the hurt Remus has caused and spend what little time she has left with her friends.

One thing Leona Lochrin swears as she gazes out the window on her last Hogwarts Express ride home is that she will never let herself be destroyed by someone like this ever again. And if she ever sees Remus Lupin again in her lifetime, it will be too soon.


End file.
